1. |
sunset
01:41
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I don’t remember what he looked like, or his accent, or his attractiveness. When I looked into his eyes all I saw was myself; but I was different. I was a sad sad man in a well lit room. The things I tried to hide were weeping through. His hand dismounted a deck of cards, we both in harmony and agreement. Borrowed boldness unfurled moss-covered zeal as he began to deal them. We spoke nothing of my inward soreness. To my injustices there was no answer. He didn’t ask, we played to win, as the sun set softly over.
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2. |
destination paradise
02:48
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She felt uncomfortable when asked to go on about herself. Would go on for a small while but pause often to see if he was still interested. Felt as insignificant as a single ocean wave; but what power. While all her emotions were splashing around her armadillo skin. With another glass of wine -with another glass of wine every undisclosed what-if, feeding back around her head, would go quiet for just a little while, with another glass of wine. He said, “you can escape”, without actually knowing how. He just had some kind of general hope for humanity maybe. But she saw right through that looking down at her own hands then over at his hands folded. Then up to his eyes. That destination paradise with another hopeful paradigm -with another hopeful paradigm theres stubborn hope beating around his chest as if it were near -with another glass of beer. While bleach soaked sweat smells fill the room. All comprehensible conversation is removed. Now understanding is only pretend. Holding the anchors to stay in our skin with another glass of gin -with another glass of gin searching for some kind of consolation - with another glass of gin. And another glass of gin.
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3. |
killtime
02:47
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Like a cat scratch gently on the door, my heads a grin rolling on the floor. Cause nothing matters anymore. You never said you wouldn’t let me down. Shame on me to put words into your mouth. You put the joy joy joy joy down down down. A mountain of things I once had said are dormant like sediment under river beds. Cause I can’t hardly even catch my breath. “Are you believing’, or dreaming, or seeing?” asked the wind chime. “Suppose I’m waiting to see what floats” I replied. “But you can grow a taste for blood while killing time”. *Grows a taste for blood while killing time.
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4. |
Grown' up
02:43
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Winter’s making pot holes while my eyes are collecting dust. Now I’m smelling grass turned yellow like theres a swimming pool out front. Looks like where I learned to stand on roller blades. I can feel the pavement scrape my knees. My memories are growing well in age while I’m still sitting in the same scene. -[c]- Maybe I’ll grow up with time.. Someday when I’m old. The sunset lets the moon to rise; a confidence I struggle to learn. “You live where time don’t turn.” “Yeah I got lessons to relearn.” “You must learn to let go.” “It’s not my choice to hold on.” -[c one day I’ll follow suit]- You can spend a winter blinking thinking how you wound up wrong. If you can trick a man into over-thinking, his legs will eventually fall off. -[c]- -[c]-
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5. |
moonrise
01:39
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With the seven cards he swiftly dealt sealed the wager already taken. For if he won, and he always did, I’d must absorb that dealers conditions. The path I walk would be an afterthought. My mountains shadowed by bird dances. I’d must let go of all I feared to lose including my own sadness. I could see him in the distance. The man I longed to be. The one I’ve warn, like unlaced shoes, coming closer towards me. Every upper hand that he managed I tensely evened the score. I cannot without a fight trust this man as I did before.
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6. |
I know u wanna
04:26
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Put me in my place. Turn away my face, I know you wanna. Or starve me in this maze. Whatever you want just say. I know you wanna, I know you want to, maybe you're gonna relieve my disbelief. She said, “come and rest a while. Don’t talk to me about your trials, though I know you wanna.” “Come and rest a while. I know you wanna, I know you want to, baby you’re gonna.” I lust the warmth under her wings, then she wanted me like the giving tree. Relieve my disbelief, tell me how you want to relieve my disbelief. Tell me how you want me. The she looked me in the eyes to say, I want want you to stay. Felt like a poem. She set before me a home, so why do I delay? Her hearts on sleeves as the sun recedes. My love’s shrunk and soaked in malnourishment. *A pregnant pause* I kiss my want and lift up a cup to my discontent. My words are thin all I can give is the endless want of an empty stomach. I held my vows but at a price. I offered up my reluctant goodbye. I know I wanna. I know you want, too. But I’m not gonna. Goodbye.
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7. |
moon
05:07
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The sunset strummed the mountaintops like guitar strings. My devotion is balanced on the edge of an eagle wing. feeling you done wrong no matter you did right. That’s how you know that you’re in the moonlight and under her spell. Do right, like the righteous man, abstain all you can. Where others get stumbled, at least get further that that. Quit all that possesses you and process all the past. Sell all you have ’til you’re alone and sad and under her spell. Of course you loved me before I was, big deal! Before I could mess anything up, and still. But as time goes on it’s harder to believe your love.. It’s a severing, it’s a toxication, it’s a blinding, like you’re not who you’re supposed to be. Look me in the eyes and say, “I want you to stay”. You are pure and I’m insane. If you say no I can’t complain. But look me in the eyes and say, “I want you to stay”.
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8. |
still believe
04:43
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Closing his eyes to the lesser light. Feverishly silent to testify, “every longing I’ve had for you.” He’s isolating in his skin. Denied each pleasure whispering, “My heart only belongs to you”. It’s knocking on the door, the prayer answer singing raindrop soft, “I’m in you, and you are.” -[c]-Oh you separate so far in the dust between the moon and stars / in the child's cry and every hardened hearts / in the sleepy church and the martyrs blood / I’ll find the coasts of Him-Who-Inhabits-All. On one night he woke from sleep. Same moonrise and colors and scenes, but the needle was threaded of existing effortlessly. An ear pressed close to the Beauties words spoken by the sovereign lord. Like the waves he reached for air. There’s wonder in his eyes. It’s just a color in the sky. Theres a riddle hidden behind this midnight purple disguise. -[c]- From here to there and every space between, the word in-fleshed with great strength hiding; keeping him in being. His sins, his walls, regrets, Gods love, his love, his gifts, and the redemption blood all grow; one mirror image. He sings a song in every breath you draw, “I want you to stay”. Giving everything you’ve needed thus far. Sing a song as you breath Him out, “I’ll submit to stay, if your taste’s in everything I’ll turn to salt.”
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9. |
star magnet
02:59
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Yeah I see you walking the raindrops sting your eyes. One foot in the void and the other in your mind. Stuck in your head like an erotic dream, intoxicating purpose leading free. feel that separation like a leaf blown from a tree? seventy years till wholeness but you’ll find it in between. It’s touching every surface like the smell of summer rain; stretching like a lion over mountains and over plains. Yeah, the kiss of having made the journey taunts when I wake up. But you can hold the world when He fills up your cup. // Don't leave your body on the ground! Take it with you on to the clouds. Can’t grow if you’re detached from yourself. I am not afraid of the clanging judgment words. Mans just makes vibrations not the heavens nor the Earth. Some say to just conform till the day He takes me home but that would be the end of me to spend this life alone cause from the smiles to the tears, from the deaths to the births, from the quietness and correction to the hardening of hearts, from the all consuming fire to the bush that never burns, from the flash of lightning east to west to the pool that doesn’t stir are Your wonders for the fool and wise -every second does reveal! You clear sight the x-ray eyes now I can feel you everywhere! // Give me eyes to see You in this world. Give me lips to echo mystery moonlight truth! Christ is creating things anew! Christ is creating me anew!
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10. |
would you hang?
02:02
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If there was no guarantee underneath your feet or no promise floating around your pockets. No festival on the other side of that confessional and no birthright dripping off the stalactites. What would you spend your time doing Mr. Air-Conditioned-Blues? Wouldn’t get any cottage cheese for your modesty. Wouldn’t get any gold starts for your recycling glass jars. Would you kiss the leper without immunity if your goods were misunderstood or else completely unseen? Who would you be then Mr. Deja-Voux? No candy canes for your Sunday praying, no warm embrace for your extending grace, no trophy wife trade for your abstinent eyes. No exclusive party invitations for your calorie counting, no human recognition for devine inspiration. No hall of fame even if you made the fire rain. Not even any empowerment for your impressing friends. -or I mean conquering sins.. sorry freudian slip. Anyway, what if it was just you and the spirit hanging out, would you hang? in there? out there? for it? would you hang?
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11. |
sunrise (kings corners)
05:54
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He plays a queen of hearts. I got a Jack of spades. He looks me in my eyes the deck depleted. I drew my card up then his cards ran out. Then he rose from the table in silence and accord said, “Now you can, now you must”. My head in my hand smothered in past attempts. Take in a deeper breath trying hard to accept. My opponent vanished. I want it bad. Forget the past and future. Focus on what he said. “Now you can, now you must, now you can trust”. It left without a trace; the man who I once was. I asked about my disgraces. He said, “don’t bother me with that stuff”. I forgot the color of my face, forgot the ‘measure a man’. Forgot how I often fall down short and my unattractiveness. Now I can, now I must, forget. And I forget if it even existed. I’ve promised to make myself forget the things that I lack. I get full when I self forget. Set to enjoy every moment. It’s not for me, it’s not for them, or to trick myself that I’m perfect. It’s not what I give or what I get. It’s that Jesus Christ calls me friend.
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Spirit of the Void Apple Valley, Minnesota
The Spirit of the Void is a 7 album creation story.
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